Each to Their Own

I sometimes think that I am a faithless individual, because I rarely have faith in the types of lamas and things that other Buddhists seem to have faith in. At other times I think I have very strong faith, but it is just a bit unusual.

For example, I can come across an old Nepali beggar around the stupa at Boudha, and it does cross my mind that they might be a hidden yogi practitioner or a wisdom dakini. There’s been a few times where my attention has been caught by someone like this and I’ve stopped what I’ve been doing to take a closer look. There was one such woman who always used to hang around one of the small streets between Shechen and Thrangu Gompa, and a couple of times I was almost moved to faith in her. The thought came to mind that if she is a wisdom dakini and were to take me on, who knows I might become an adept (a siddha).

But for some reason, many of the things that move other people to faith – such as big titles, high thrones, bizarre hats, and crowds of devotees – have the opposite effect on me. These are some of the only things that ever spark any glimmer of renunciation in me.