Gratitude

Do your best not to disappoint those who love you, care for you, who place their trust in you and want the best for you. Try your best to repay their kindness.
Being able to recognise who has been good to one is a sign of a mature and intelligent person. Failing to recognise that is a sign of stupidity and immaturity. There is no worse type of person than those who are not able to treat well those who have been kind to them. And any ideas such a person might hold about practising the dharma are delusional.
From the worldly standpoint, there is no one who is kinder to us than our parents. They might not have been the most skilful and wisest when bringing us up, but no one loves us as our parents do. If there was something permanent in the world, it would be our parents’ love for us.
If we look at the situation honestly, isn’t it strange how we devote all our love to a stranger, who we never knew before, who hasn’t really done anything for us, while leaving behind and forgetting our dear parents? We need to ask ourselves, after all that our parents have done for us, sacrificed for us, what are we doing for them?
When we were helpless and were fully dependant on others to survive, who was there for us? Who was there for us when we had nothing to offer, other than screams, tears and dirty nappies? We cannot forget these people, especially when they need us most – when they are old and lonely. We’ve forgotten how our mother used to feed us, clean us, play with us, teach us, hold us by the hand and cuddle us; not just once or twice, nor for just a week or two, but day after day for many years. We took it so much for granted that we can barely even remember it.
In general, having a sense of gratitude and a feeling of responsibility to repay the kindness our parents, siblings, teachers and society have shown us is what will make us a decent and capable human being. It is particularly relevant for us Buddhists because all greater vehicle (mahayana) practise is built upon the ability to have gratitude and appreciation.
To repay people’s kindness doesn’t mean we just try to treat them well, but that we use what people have given us – be it skills, knowledge, or resources – to help other people better themselves and to make this world a better place, which will make what others have done for us extremely meaningful.
In the dharma, there is no one kinder to us than our lamas. If you see me to be a lama of yours, for example, don’t think that giving me money or other material things is a good way of repaying any kindness I might have shown you. Instead, try to understand the way that I work, what I value, the objectives I have, and then try to work in a way that accords with those values and goals. In this way, together, we might be able to leave something in the world that will benefit our parents from past, present and future lives – all sentient beings.